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最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 10:01
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 10:01
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2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The truth is more important than the facts.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
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Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
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He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
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The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
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Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
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The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
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If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
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Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
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I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
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Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
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It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
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It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
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There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
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Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
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An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
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Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
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My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
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In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
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After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 19:13
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